Let, Lift, Listen program encourages empathy as tool for parenting

On Wednesday, October 26, over 30 parents of teens and tweens filled the sanctuary at Church of the Holy Cross on Daniel Island to hear local parent coach Christine Donavan teach three critical strategies for raising teens. Donavan, who is a PCI Certified Parent Coach®, calls her program Let, Lift, Listen.

“Let, Lift and Listen are three strategies that will help to end arguments, power struggles, and will help create a peaceful home between parents and teens,” says Donavan. All three strategies use empathy as their underlying concept and Donavan suggests that being empathetic can be highly effective for parents.

While Donavan has a passion for teens and a desire to help families through the sometimes difficult teen years, she has seen empathy work with kids of all ages and the sooner you begin using these strategies, the larger the payoff will be.

So what do the three strategies mean? Here are examples of each.

“Let,” says Donavan, “means letting the consequences do the teaching.” An example of this strategy would be your teen losing his or her cell phone. Instead of punishing them for their irresponsibility, an empathetic approach would be to say, “Awww, I’m so sorry. I hate that for you. How will you keep in touch with your friends now?” Letting the teen figure out how to replace the phone (paying with their own money), is letting the consequence do the teaching. Donavan emphasizes again that empathy is the tool that helps replace bad behavior with good behavior. It most often does the teaching itself.

The next strategy is lifting your teen with honest praise. Teens need praise and lots of it. Donavan recommends that for every negative remark you make toward your child, you need to give five positive remarks (praises).

The third strategy is listening sincerely. In order to listen sincerely, Donavan advises parents to put their own phones down and truly engage with their teens. She says to listen with an open mind and sincere attention.

Using these strategies, according to Donavan, helps parents remain calm, which will help to cultivate a warm and loving relationship with their teen.

“While the Let, Lift, Listen approach is important at all stages of childhood, parents often forget this simple approach at a time teens most need parents to believe in them, remember their strengths and potential, and allow them to make some important decisions,” says Donavan.

Parenting Class
(for parents of teens and adolescents)

A new series of parenting classes begins November 9 at Holy Cross. It’s not too late to sign up. If you are interested, please contact
Chris at coachchristined@gmail.com.

Wednesdays, 7-9pm
November 9 – December 7 (no class Thanksgiving week)
Church of the Holy Cross
Cost: $100/person or $150/family

Daniel Island Publishing

225 Seven Farms Drive
Unit 108
Daniel Island, SC 29492 

Office Number: 843-856-1999
Fax Number: 843-856-8555

 

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