Selecting that 'next step' - the move to a retirement community

Nine years ago, my husband and I helped my parents move from their home of 58 years to a retirement community. It was an unplanned transition that frightened all of us. My parents did not want to move, and I did not want to admit they were aging, but we all needed to face reality. At that time, I associated retirement communities with old age and the end of life, but my perception quickly changed.

After the emotions settled, the protests stopped, and a place selected, the transition was easier than anticipated, and my parents quickly adjusted to the new routine and new friends. My parents both agreed they should have made the move sooner.

I learned that approaching the inevitable transitions of life is easier if you look for humor.

Prior to moving in, my Dad wanted to buy a queen-size mattress. My parents had slept in a double bed their entire married life. When I questioned his request, he answered with a grin, “Your mother snores, but don’t tell her I told you.”

My mother was happy living in a retirement community for a reason she shared with everyone. “I don’t have to shop for groceries; I don’t have to cook them; and the best part - I don’t have to clean up after dinner.” She also loved the social life, especially happy hour and her newfound drink of choice - the fuzzy navel.

Today’s retirement communities are no longer for the old but for those young at heart who prefer a socially active lifestyle without responsibility. Seeing advertisements and websites that depict smiling active Baby Boomers dancing or playing pickle ball would catch the attention of most seniors.

Whether we are ready to make a move or just contemplating one, pre-planning and research can make the task less daunting. These lessons were learned as I assisted my parents transitioning through their life stages.

Pre-planning:

• Ensure all essential financial and medical documents are in place such as a Will, Trust, Durable Power of Attorney, and Health Care Directive.

• Declutter your home. If you are anything like my husband, everything is saved because you never know when that one special nail or piece of wood will be needed. I keep reminding him that our children will be unhappy if they are left the task of clean-up.

After the decision to move to a retirement community has been made:

• Do the math to determine how much you can afford monthly for retirement community living. When I factored in all my parents’ monthly home expenses including taxes, insurance, maintenance, etc., it was surprisingly cheaper for them to live in a retirement community.

• Develop a list of what you would like in a retirement community. Top on my father’s list was food. My mother was interested in the social activities.

• Determine where you want to live. Being close to family and good friends can be important as we age. Choose an area that offers activities outside the community. Moving to a retirement community in the mountains sounds great, but over time the isolation might drive you crazy.

• Do your research and ask questions. Once you have selected a community, check its financial stability. Visit several times, meet with the management team, and understand the community rules. Talk to staff members, especially the person responsible for activities. Join the residents at meal time and try the food. Meet with residents, and inquire as to their likes and dislikes. Smiling staff and residents reveal a great deal about a community.

It is also wise to choose a community that provides transition to other facilities as more help with daily living is needed.

Moving to a retirement community may be the last major decision a senior makes alone. If the decision to move is right for you then embrace the change with a positive attitude. Change is not easy, but change can bring about fun, excitement, and adventure. Some of the best memories my family has are of the good times spent with my parents at their retirement community.

Mariann Chambers is the author of the book, “Who Are These People?,” a caregiving story. Her second book, “Where Did Those People Go?,” is scheduled for publication the end of 2018. Mariann and her husband, Jim, live on Daniel Island.

Daniel Island Publishing

225 Seven Farms Drive
Unit 108
Daniel Island, SC 29492 

Office Number: 843-856-1999
Fax Number: 843-856-8555

 

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