Back to the future


***image1***The following is a transcription of conversation during a luncheon gathering. The host, William, is a portly, somewhat balding septuagenarian. The other gentlemen, seated around a circular table, are a few of his cronies. Charles, a lawyer, is a tall, rather somber fellow. Robert, a bookkeeper, is sporting a new red necktie. Edward, a professor, is quick of mind and opinion. And Thomas, a merchant, is the most jovial member of the group. We join them as the last member of the party arrives.


William: "Robert, my boy, welcome. Have a seat. You know the others?"

Robert (nodding): "Good afternoon, gentlemen. Sorry I’m a little late. I was helping a client close this month’s ledgers."

Thomas: "They must be losing money."

Robert: "Why do you say that?"

Thomas: "Look at the red ink all over your cravat."

Robert: "You’re just jealous I didn’t purchase it in one of your shops."

Thomas: "No. I’m just relieved you didn’t find it under my establishment’s roof."

Charles: "I think it looks…well, (turning toward Edward) what’s a good word for Robert’s cravat?"

Thomas (jumping in): "Absurd?"

Edward: "Don’t mind Thomas. I think it looks sporty."

Charles: "Yes, sporty … sporty is a good description."

Edward: "I’ll tell you what is absurd, though. It’s those crazies overseas and their new constitution."

Robert: "I’ve heard so much about it lately. What exactly does it mean?"

Charles: "It means they actually believe they can govern themselves."

William: "Preposterous! They have a widespread population and no experience in implementing self-rule."

Edward: "Precisely. And no infrastructure to support a new government no matter the amount of effort exerted."

Thomas: "Can their economy support a new government?"

Edward: "Hardly. They’re dirt-poor, especially compared with much of the modern world."

Charles: "Most of them live hand- to-mouth. Their standard of living is woefully behind ours."

Robert: "And aren’t they an amalgamation of different sects?"

William: "That they are. There is no way they will be able to get along well enough to cooperate for a common purpose."

Edward: "Look at all the internal political fighting already."

Charles: "Not to mention how long it has taken to draft this constitution."

William: "We’d be remiss to assume they are as civilized as we."

William (after a pause): "How’s the stew?"

Thomas: "Delicious."

Edward: "Good choice when there’s a chill in the air."

William (nodding toward Charles): "Not imbibing today, are we?"

Charles: "No, just tea. I have to be in court this afternoon."

Williams: "What’s the plea, if I may ask?"

Charles: "Chap with a complaint against the man who built his house."

Thomas: "I understand there is a lot of that going around these days."

Charles: "I could be busy with nothing but these cases."

Robert: "Sounds like you gents don’t hold out much hope for this new constitution."

Charles: "I’d say ‘much hope’ is an overstatement. I give it no chance. Why, they are even talking about amending it before the ink is dry. What does that tell you?"

Edward: "It tells me that this experiment in democracy is doomed from the start."

William: "If you ask me, I don’t care what happens. It’s a long way from here and I predict whatever happens won’t impact us."

Thomas (raising a glass): "Hear, hear!"

Edward: "And, as you may recall, I was never in favor of sending troops over there."

Robert: "Can they defend themselves?"

Charles: "I doubt it. There is a good chance they will be conquered in our lifetime."

William: "Or just collapse from within. I’d be willing to bet we or someone else will have to go in there relatively soon to pick up the pieces. But, let’s have a more cheery topic. Now that the rains have stopped, it looks like we’re in for a glorious autumn. Are any of you chaps heading to the country for hunting this weekend?"


Note: Conversation at a London pub…in October, 1787.


The views expressed herein are those of Dalton Williams and not the editor or staff of The Daniel Island News. The author accepts full responsibility and challenges those with opposing views to a duel.


Daniel Island Publishing

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