How are you?

It’s the question on everyone’s lips, and the honest answers are: we’re struggling, out of sorts, anxious and afraid. And we’re not sleeping too well.

As if the coronavirus weren’t enough, the economic impacts are staggering and touch nearly every family. What do we do at a time like this to keep our mental health intact?  To ease the anxiety and the fear?

I recall sitting in my psychiatrist’s office and asking him this very question. I was suffering through a difficult patch and anxiety was peaking. It was prompted by the stressors of the day, which, on reflection, were child’s play compared with COVID-19. I wondered why my feelings were so intense and I asked myself, repeatedly, what’s wrong with me, why am I feeling this way? 

My psychiatrist paused, and with a studied voice, said: “You’re not alone.”  He validated my feelings, and let me know that millions around the country, and the globe, felt exactly the same.

Those same words carry meaning today, for we truly are not alone. We are part of a broad network of human beings who are, simultaneously, experiencing a once-in-a-lifetime trauma, and we’re all trying to figure out how to deal with it (in a poll last week, the Kaiser Family Foundation found that 57% of adults said they’re worried they could be exposed to the virus because they can’t afford to miss work and can’t stay home – that’s up from 35% two weeks earlier).

It is said that fear of the unknown is far worse than fear of the known. This is the current state of affairs. We have no idea where things are headed, when we can congregate again, when the human landscape will return to norm, or some new version of it. We just don’t know, and it weighs on us.

There are no easy solutions. But there are some steps we can take.

1. Stay in touch: My good friend Jim Clifford drew a noteworthy distinction between ”personal distancing” and “social distancing.” His point? When in the presence of others, we certainly should maintain our “personal” distance. But it’s critical to maintain social contact, with relatives, friends and work colleagues.  

2. Write down your fears: A Washington Post article shared this advice from Joshua Gordon, director of the National Institute of Mental Health: “Just the act of writing [down your fears] and stepping away from them can really help you.” Another way is to “communicate them to another caring person. In sharing our fears that has a number of effects. You often learn that that caring person also has those fears and worries.”

3. Take a media break, get enough sleep, hydrate: Joshua Morganstein, Chair of the American Psychiatric Association Committee on the Psychiatric Dimensions of Disaster, shares his perspective: “Many people are concerned . . . that is how I would describe this rather than panic or anxiety, about things that impact the health and safety of themselves and their loved ones. It’s important for people to know that this is normal and understandable.” Morganstein encourages us to use media wisely, “. . . checking for any updates [you] might need to make informed choices about [your] health, then turning it off. It’s important to remind ourselves that we can take a media break. And people should be encouraged to do so. Also, adequate sleep, eating and staying hydrated are important. Limiting use of alcohol, tobacco and other substances will help people function more effectively, particularly in the long term.”

Contact a helpline. If you’re feeling anxious, or just need someone to talk to, call 800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746 (a free service from Mental Health America).

Daniel Island Publishing

225 Seven Farms Drive
Unit 108
Daniel Island, SC 29492 

Office Number: 843-856-1999
Fax Number: 843-856-8555

 

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