Three Things You Should Never Trust
Moods, thoughts and fortune cookies
“Moods are sneaky and deceptive, and can’t be trusted,” explains clinical counselor George Bielay. “They can trick you into thinking, feeling and behaving like your life is worse than it actually is in reality.” When we’re in a bad mood, says Bielay, “we can easily lose perspective, innocuous matters are super important,” and we “tend to believe with earnest, that these thoughts and feelings are the absolute truth.”
They’re not. Bielay encourages us to acknowledge the mood we’re in (moodlist.net lists 135 possible moods!), then remind ourselves: “Yeah, I’m in a bad mood, and I usually feel negative about things in general. This is not the best time to analyze my life.” The skill, of course, “is to learn how to remind yourself that this will pass...Never forget that when in a bad mood, it shall pass.”
Bad moods and mood swings, where do they come from? Author Farouk Radwan, MSc maintains that “[M]ood swings are nothing more than mood shifts that result from remembering a problem that you have been ignoring. The more unsolved problems you are keeping behind your back the more you are subject to mood swings.”
Radwan adds: “[U]sually more than one thought accumulate(s) . . . before your mood swings. For example, a single thought could come in the morning and another few hours later. Both of those thoughts could then change your mood or they could stay dormant until a third thought comes, which when combined with the first two, causes a mood swing.”
How best to cope? “By taking one action, which is learning to monitor your thoughts,” says Radwan.
Thoughts – can they be trusted?
“Anxiety thoughts are real,” insists Tanya Peterson, MS, NCC, “but not trustworthy.” She explains: “When anxiety is running rampant through our minds, it’s often difficult to know if our thoughts are accurate or faulty. It doesn’t help when the (usually) well-meaning people around us dismiss these thoughts, saying, ‘Don’t worry!’ or ‘It’s not that bad. You’re imagining problems.’”
Peterson continues: “Anxiety is real. It’s part of the brain’s physiology. Further, the thoughts are real. They are authentic. While they are real, you can’t always trust them. Because they’re not trustworthy, they don’t have to control or dictate your reality.” Her solution? Identify your anxious thoughts, or negative thinking patterns, and challenge them.
Thought betrayal
Author Anne-Sophie Reinhardt weighs in: “When I realized how much my thoughts were betraying me and my true potential, I started to distrust them [so] I quit my job...decided not to continue my studies and [instead focus] solely on my business, which took off faster than I could have thought. I was walking more confidently, became more optimistic and took more risks. I saw a future that was full of possibilities and fun and I didn’t let those naysaying thoughts take over.”
Reinhardt adds: “You cannot look into the future and see where your actions lead you and neither can your thoughts. They’ve been wired over hundreds of thousands of years in order to think of the negative . . . [but in] today’s world, however, these [negative] thoughts stand in the way of personal and professional success.”
As for fortune cookies, I opened one the other day that said: “You will enjoy a wonderful meal with good friends.” Finally, a fortune that came true!