Teens weather mental health year-round

Last week’s unusual freezing weather forced many of us to stay cooped up indoors, sharing more germs and viruses, and perhaps tested everyone’s bandwidth. Parents are glad to get their kids back to school routines, making lunches and getting organized. Part of setting up our kids for success involves creating spaces with clear boundaries, wherein kids can play safely. 

 

We are fortunate to live on Daniel Island, a place with safe playgrounds, sidewalks, and stores where our kids can buy pizza, fruit juice, and bagels all on their own. But enforcing boundaries with teens becomes more challenging because they’re adulting albeit with a brain not fully formed. Author Pat Conroy would use the word “inchoate.” Yet there are rules everywhere in school, college, and the world of employment. 

 

If left to their own devices, kids entertain themselves with technology. The cell phone is a teenager’s oxygen. Threaten to take away their phone and a melt-down ensues.

 

It’s easy to resort to technology because it has the power to lift one’s mood by triggering a dopamine cycle. When we get rewarded by positive online experiences, we feel good by the brain producing dopamine, a neurotransmitter. The brain quickly gets used to the dopamine kick. All ages can be addicted to this reinforcement, even if occupied by a mind-numbing online experience. Teenagers are particularly vulnerable to dopamine as the young, maturing brain gets bored easily and seeks stimulation. 

 

Moderation is key here because technology is not all bad. There are apps for teaching mindfulness, yoga, music, art, dance, and cooking. Even the much-maligned TikTok can be used beneficially. I’m @TheCollegeLady and dispense many useful tips on college selection and financial aid.

 

Mental health mechanisms  

 

1. Coping skills: Identify which situations pull parents and teens’ triggers. Plan for ways to de-escalate: e.g. take three big breaths, hold an ice-cube in hand until it’s melted, get out in the fresh air, walk the Daniel Island Trails (danielislandtrails.com). Post these coping skills on the fridge.

 

2. Encourage self-care. Show teens interconnectivity between physical and mental health. Food impacts mood and what we fuel our bodies with affects our emotions. Eat nutritious food. Get enough sleep! Resolve to turn off the phone by 10 p.m. and sleep by 11 p.m.

 

3. Swim at the Pierce Park Pool – it’s heated. Play bocce on the adjacent bocce field. Utilize the ping-pong table in the Pierce Park Pavilion. It’s the best exercise for eye-hand-brain coordination which improves attention.

 

4. Visit the DI Recreation center to play board games or work out in the gym. 

 

5. Visit the DI Library – Mr. Tim Boyle, librarian, has many resources up his sleeves for teenagers.

 

6. Giving: How do we serve others and not just ourselves? Encourage your teen to share a skill that they’re passionate about with another teen, adult, or older person. It could be playing an instrument, a sport, cooking, or making an arts and craft item. Visit those who may live alone or have lost a dear one. 

 

7. Listen without passing judgment. Let your teen know you are there. It may feel like Groundhog Day but keep repeating it.

 

8. Practice self-care. This is not being selfish. Parents also need some pampering and down time to recharge. Feed your soul so that your cup is full. You can’t pour out of an empty cup.

 

RESOURCES

• NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill)

• National suicide prevention line: 899

• Trevor Project is for LGBTQIIA+ for teens struggling with gender identity. (teenline.org/)

 

C. Claire Law, M.S. is a Certified Educational Planner serving Daniel Island residents since 2004.