When critics come calling (Part 1)

 

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” — Aristotle

 

In a “Peanuts” cartoon, Linus is curled up in a chair, reading a book, while Lucy stands behind him with a funny look on her face. Lucy then says, “It’s very strange. It happens just by looking at you.” 

 

“What happens?” Linus asks. 

 

Lucy calmly answers, “I can feel a criticism coming on.”

 

Criticism. It’s the constant companion of leaders. Hang around long enough and 

you will come to know this truth about leadership.

 

“No leader lives a day without criticism,” said J. Oswald Sanders, “and humility will never be more on trial than when criticism comes.” 

 

What about you? What’s been your experience? How have you dealt with criticism? 

 

Let’s look at three common reactions when critics come calling.

 

We take it personally

 

Most leaders I know have a deep sense of pride in their work and otherwise like to think of themselves as good leaders. When critics come calling, it’s a normal reaction to take it personally and get defensive. 

 

Another consideration is the source of the critic. While it can be easy to brush it off as petty behavior from a disgruntled colleague, it especially hurts when it comes from someone we once considered close. 

 

While this is a common reaction, it may not always be the most healthy reaction. More about that later.

 

We retaliate

 

A sure sign that we have taken the critics too seriously is that we retaliate. We justify ourselves by pointing out the faults of the accuser. How many times have you, or someone you know gone down this road? How did that work out?

 

The trap here, if you go down this road, is now you have entered into an unhealthy game of comparison. In order to justify your hurt ego, you now have to engage on the level of the critic in an unhealthy way. Now, by your act of retaliation, you have escalated the situation whereby making amends becomes more difficult because you allowed your bruised feelings to get in the way.

 

While this may make you feel good in the short-term, you have now put up barriers and slowed any chance of reconciliation.

 

We put up walls

 

Among these three common reactions, this is perhaps the most destructive to your leadership. And this reaction has nothing to do with your critics. This response is all on you. 

 

To be sure, no one likes it when critics come calling — especially when the critic has less experience or is nothing more than arm-chair quarterback with no skin in the game. I mean, who the heck do they think they are, right?

 

But when you choose to put up walls — those defensive measures — it is the one action that hurts you more in the long run. When you cut people off you put yourself in danger of hearing only from the people who will tell you what you want to hear — not what you need to hear.

 

So what is a leader to do? What should your posture be when your critics come calling? What can you learn from your critics? These questions and more will be answered in When Critics Come Calling (Part 2).

 

Final Thoughts

 

As the saying goes, haters are going to hate. But for you in leadership, there’s no room for that. And while dealing with it comes with the territory, you can rise above it, learn from it, and be a better leader because of it. 

 

©2020 Doug Dickerson. Read more at https://www.dougdickerson.net.