Are your kids safe online?

Protecting kids from the dangers that lurk in the invisible shadows of the internet is a big and ever-changing challenge for parents. Though kids are typically more tech savvy than the older generation, it’s up to their parents to do their homework and become educated on how apps work and why kids are drawn to use them.

Meg Boyer, director of communications at Bishop England High School and a parent of four children, explained, “The digital world has not been designed with children in mind, so it’s up to us, the adults, to guide and empower our children. The ultimate goal is to teach your children how to protect themselves and ensure they are comfortable coming to you if they are in trouble.”

Even children from small, seemingly safe communities are at risk. On Aug. 22, Team 5 reported that a 14-year-old juvenile who resides in the Daniel Island/Cainhoy area was exposed to pornography and obscene material sent by an unknown predator.

The complaint was filed by the child’s parent at the Charleston Police Department headquarters on Lockwood Boulevard. The parent stated that her daughter had received multiple text messages that were sexually explicit from an individual she had met while playing Fortnite, an online video game.

After connecting through Nintendo Switch (a gaming system), the perpetrator convinced the victim to communicate privately via text. Messages originated from a 210 area code and were turned over to police. The case is under active investigation by Charleston’s Central Detectives Division and supporting agencies.

TIPS FOR PARENTS

1. Talk with your kids about their online usage

Laura Blanchard, principal of the Daniel Island School (DIS), is laser focused on virtual safety. She said, “It is important to engage our kids frequently in conversations about what they are doing/seeing online as well as get to know/screen the sites/apps that they are accessing.”

2. Access internet safety resources

At the start of every school year, DIS kicks off their programming with digital citizenship, and they revisit the topic throughout the year. Blanchard recommends the S.C. Attorney General’s website as a resource, which outlines the top 10 tips for internet safety. Suggestions include: avoid being critical of your child’s use of the internet to keep the lines of communication open, tell your child that online friends should not be met in person without parent approval, and be a good digital role model. For the full list of tips, visit bit.ly/46dWirX.

3. Avoid being critical of your child’s use of the internet

Boyer agreed that discouraging social media use can backfire and said that she’s heard students say, “I don’t want to tell my parents about what happened online because they’ll take my phone away.”

Boyer added, “The scare tactic strategy creates a wall between parents and teens since the fear of losing their device blocks the fear of real danger. Don’t demonize their social media use; rather, encourage all parties to have open conversations.”

4.  All profiles of minors should be private - not negotiable

Kids should only accept people they know in real life as friends on social media. Talk with your kids about “Instagram Fame” and how likes, comments, and followers are not the accurate metric of worthiness. “Instagram Fame” discourages the use of private accounts. Boyer shared, “Students have told me they’ve been put down over how many likes they get, which is the new popularity metric.”

5. The Internet is forever

Emphasize to your child that all of their activity online is assembling a permanent personal biography that cannot be edited, Boyer explained. Colleges and employers routinely conduct online searches when they are considering candidates.

6. Watch and learn together

Boyer suggested watching together “The Social Dilemma,” a Netflix series that focuses on how big social media companies manipulate users using algorithms that facilitate addiction to their platforms. It shows how platforms harvest personal data to target users with ads and have gone largely unregulated.

7. Check your child’s phone

Lt. George Bradley, a parent and the newly appointed commander of Team 5 with the City of Charleston’s Police Department, keeps abreast of current trends in social media and how they impact online safety. His first tip for parents is to check their children’s phones thoroughly and consistently.

8. Ban some apps and disable some functions

“Check what apps they are currently using and look for hidden ones,” he suggested. “For example, there is a calculator app that allows you to hide photos and videos. If they have Snapchat, disable their location! And also check for My Eyes Only within the app and do not allow them to set it up. It is password protected. Keep in mind we see a lot of solicitation and exploitation with this, as kids believe that the pictures/videos that they send will disappear, which is only half true.”

From a parents’ perspective, Bradley said that he would not allow his child to use the following apps, explaining that they can also be accessed via web browser: Discord, Telegram, Omegle, TikTok and Kik.

These are very popular apps, Bradley noted, but he said police see a lot of solicitation and exploitation on them.

9. Monitor online game communication

Bradley said that if a child is using Roblox or Fortnite, closely monitor with whom they are playing.

10. Use parental monitoring apps

Bradley recommends the following parental monitoring apps:

Bark – Monitors social media apps, scans emails/texts/photos/videos, sets screen time limits, sends alerts if there is concerning content (i.e. self-harm, violence etc.) and gives recommendations from a psychologist. It will also notify parents if it is uninstalled. It costs $99/year.

Qustodio – Offers location tracking, a panic button, social media monitoring, internet filtering for inappropriate content/pornography, and parental blocks on website categories (but will also notify parents if kids access other similar sites that aren’t specifically blocked). With Android you can track calls and texts and block contacts. There are both paid and free versions and can monitor up to 15 devices.

FamilyTime -There’s a family tracker, location history, you can set speed limits when teens start driving, panic button, screen time limitations, internet scheduling (parents set time frames) so kids can’t use the devices at night/during homework time. Cost is based on the number of devices - $27/year for one, $35/year for two, etc. 

MORE RESOURCES

Like Blanchard, Bradley uses the resources from the S.C. Attorney and endorses NetSmartz as an educational tool for families who want to learn more about online safety. NetSmartz offers a series of free, age-appropriate videos and activities to teach children to become more aware of potential online risks and to help prevent victimization by making safer choices on- and offline. Access the resource at bit.ly/3Rk3KxI.