What to do when your team locks horns

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” – Laurence Sterne 

Last year, I set out in the pre-dawn hours to photograph some elk in the mountains of East Tennessee. It was fascinating to watch the elk slowly make their way to this meadow and begin grazing. 

One interesting thing to watch with elk is when they lock antlers. I have seen this on occasion before, but in the morning fog at sunrise it was picture-perfect.  

As you picture what this might have looked like in person, think in real time about the daily culture you experience in your workplace. There will be times when the people on your team clash over ideas about the direction in which things should go. If this is your experience, then good for you. You want engaged, thinking people to be working it out. 

One of the most important things for leaders to understand is the difference between conflict and accountability. “Conflict is about issues and ideas,” says author and leadership consultant Patrick Lencioni, “while accountability is about performance and behavior.” As a leader, when you understand this difference, you can lead your team more effectively toward your shared goals and mission. 

Along the way, there are a few things that are important to understand for your team's sake. Allow me to share a few of them with you. 

THE COST OF WINNING 

A leader can readily understand the cost of losing and its immediate impact, but how many leaders understand the cost of winning? This happens when personal wins become more important than team wins. The team pays the price when personal victories become more important than shared success. 

But when trust is at the forefront of all decisions, constructive conflict and debate can occur within that environment to reach shared goals. One must not confuse personal victories for the sake of ego with shared wins for the team. 

Leadership Tip: Leaders and team members need to check their egos at the door if they want to stay healthy. 

THE COST OF HOLDING BACK 

Most leaders can identify unhealthy debate and conflict. Many more just want peace and everyone to get along. I get it. They see it as bad for morale and as contributing to an unhealthy culture. But is it? 

What if you were to change your perspective and understand that it’s when your team stops pushing back that you should be concerned? Your organization will rarely stall for lack of talent or ideas; it will stall when those talents and ideas are suppressed by those who do not understand the value of healthy debate.  

Leadership Tip: Your team can’t get better if they aren't given permission to lock horns with each other with integrity and respect. 

THE COST OF ACCOUNTABILITY 

A common misconception among leaders is that their personal wins are good for the team. In some cases, that may be true, but attaining victories at all costs for the sake of a personal win can be damaging. Healthy workplace cultures don’t eliminate disagreement; they encourage it through honest conversations and mutual respect. 

“Building a cohesive leadership team is the first critical step that an organization must take if it is to have the best chance at success,” said Lencioni. He is right, and it begins with accountability.  

Leadership Tip: Leaders must get comfortable with what at first seems uncomfortable. It’s the pathway to success. 

Learn more at dougdickerson.net/. Email Doug at Dougdickersonleadership@gmail.com. ©2026 Doug Dickerson.