Phasing out the penny makes no cents

“Nickel for your thoughts,” my Aunt Toogie announced as I entered the kitchen.

 

“Isn’t it, ‘a penny for your thoughts’?” I replied, looking toward my lovely wife, Grace, who just shrugged and nodded toward Toogie.

 

“Not any more, kiddo,” Toogie barked as I poured a cup of coffee. “The government’s going to stop making pennies.”

 

“Why?”

 

“They say it costs two cents to make each penny,” she explained. “Not sure if it’s DOGE, inflation, or just plain old economics.”

 

“Sounds like a penny saved is a penny earned,” I declared. “Just like Mark Twain said.”

 

“That was Ben Franklin,” Grace corrected. “Plus, his context was different.”

 

“Well, whatever way,” I scowled, “I guess that’s progress.”

 

After a pause, Grace mused, “I’m not so sure about that.”

 

“We hardly use pennies anymore,” I interjected. “I can’t recall the last time I paid for something with coins.”

 

“They just accumulated in a drawer or cupholder in the car,” Toogie added in agreement.

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Grace proclaimed softly. “Think of all the symbolism we are losing.” When neither Toogie nor I responded, she added, “Remember the joy of buying penny candy? Or having a penny whistle?”

 

Toogie picked up the theme faster than I and quipped, “How about going to a penny arcade?”

 

“Or wearing penny loafers?” Grace shot back.

 

That set the two of them on a roll.

 

“Penny-pincher.”

 

“Pretty penny.”

 

“Penny wise.”

 

“Penny stocks.”

 

“Lucky penny.”

 

Pretty soon, they were both giggling. Then, Grace offered, “But it’s deeper than that. Think of the memories these phrases bring back.”

 

“You know,” Toogie replied, looking lost in thought, “that reminds me of things my late husband, Harold, used to say. He was frugal, a real penny-pincher.” Grace gave her an assuring smile, and Toogie continued. “When Harold bought something, he often said he wanted to be sure it was worth every penny he paid. And when he sold crops off our farms, he would have a price and say he wouldn’t take a penny less.”

 

“Did he play penny-ante poker?” I asked. Toogie nodded, and I added, “My dad did, and he had a habit that drove my mother crazy. Although they were playing for small change, if he lost a hand, he’d always bet more on the next hand until he won.”

 

“In for a penny, in for a pound?” Grace queried.

 

“More penny-wise and pound-foolish,” I answered.

 

Toogie looked down at her coffee and then spoke, “Harold was a wonderful husband, but didn’t want to sell the farm even after it stopped paying for itself.”

 

“Day late and penny short?” Grace asked.

 

“I guess so,” Toogie sighed. “But he carried us through when we didn’t have two pennies to rub together. It may have been providence, but we made it.”

 

“Pennies from heaven,” Grace said softly.

 

After a long silence, Grace remarked, “We’re losing more than these idioms. Think of all the memories they recall.”

 

After we cleared up the breakfast dishes, I thought more about what Grace had said. The penny pinchers at the Bureau of Printing and Engraving will replace our one-cent coin with nickels. The copper-colored penny will get replaced by the nickel as the lowest denominator – goodbye Abe Lincoln and hello Tom Jefferson. All purchases will get rounded up to the next five cents – trust me, they won’t get rounded down. And, one day beyond that, TJ will give way to FDR. Eventually, the Feds will nickel-and-dime those coins out of existence, too.

 

These coins may become collector items and, possibly, be worth more than they are now as currency. If you have any 1943 lead pennies, hold onto them.

 

But, eventually, the bigger loss will be the memories they bring back. You can tell your kids about using small change to buy a McDonald’s hamburger, a Dairy Queen cone, a ticket to the Saturday movies plus popcorn or candy, magazines, 45 rpm records, several packs of gum, a large Coke or Nehi, two to three gallons of gasoline, and at a point in time, one share of Microsoft or Apple.

 

It is a time past, a time gone by, but, hopefully, a time not forgotten – as long as you hold those memories dear. So keep strong the many memories those coins created for you. If you do, they will remain as bright and brilliant as a brand new shiny penny.