Winner of the 2005 Holiday Fiction Contest - Adult Division

***image1***This day started like many others. 96 WAVE blared on the alarm clock, I rolled over to hit snooze. My dreams and reality had blended together recently. It had been almost a week since my fourth miscarriage. The painkillers were gone. They did their job on the physical pain, but the emotional pain lingered. This one was not as shocking as the first or second; not as expected as the third, but more final. The significance of four miscarriages at age thirty-nine was not lost on my husband and me.

I rolled over to get out of bed. Dan gently grabbed my arm. "Where are you going honey?" His brown hair was messed and his eyes were still full of sleep.

"I’m going for a short run, but I’ll see you for breakfast."

At that he shot up. "Are you kidding me? Kell, it hasn’t even been a week. You need your rest."

"I’ve rested enough. I need fresh air. I need to clear my head. I just need to get out of here!"

"Okay." That was all he said.

"Babe, it’s not you. It’s…

"Really, I understand."

And he did. We had been through it all together. We met about ten years ago at my cousin’s wedding. He was one of the groom’s men, I was the maid of honor and the rest is history. From the moment we started talking at the rehearsal dinner, I knew he was the one. He was so funny and very cute, in that Tom Hanks sort of way. He was just finishing his residency at MUSC and I was working as a pharmaceutical rep in Cincinnati.

We were married a year later and thoroughly enjoyed the Charleston lifestyle. We made the decision to move to Daniel Island shortly after building began. We thought it would be the perfect place to raise a family. The Island has steadily grown; unfortunately our family hasn’t.

I pulled my ponytail through my Reds cap and started running. It was a cool November morning and I could smell the marsh in the distance. The houses I passed were filled with neighbors and friends, but I didn’t want to see anyone I knew today. It was just too soon. I picked up the pace and breezed through Center Park. I rounded the corner and headed down Seven Farms Drive. They had just broken ground on Daniel Island Academy, the future preschool. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I realized I would probably never have any children to go there. I wiped my face and jogged the remaining blocks home.

Dan left a bagel and strawberries for me on the table accompanied by a note asking me to meet him at The Soda Water Grill for lunch. I caught up on my work e-mails, showered and headed for the restaurant. Dan was there waiting. He was wearing scrubs and didn’t look like he had shaved. I smiled. "Did you oversleep?"

He rubbed the stubble on his face. "How’d you guess? I did manage to beat my first patient to the office." Dan was no morning man and residency had nearly done him in.

The waitress came to take our order. Dan ordered the burger and I got a salad. Before our food came Dan grabbed my hand. "Kelly, I know we have been through a lot lately…"

I reached my hand back, "Not here Dan."

"Please, hear me out," he said. "We need some happiness right now. The holidays are coming up and I’m sorry, but I can’t spend another depressing Christmas."

"What do you want me to do? I’m not sure I’m ready to be happy." I said sarcastically.

He gave me a half smile. "Well I’m glad you asked, because I do have an idea."

"Do tell."

"Well, he said, our friends have been so supportive through all this. I thought that maybe we could throw a little party."

"Dan, that’s the last thing I need right now!"

"Babe, just think about it. It might help you get your mind off things and it would be fun!"

Just then, our food came. We ate in silence. I was so mad at his insensitivity. I glared at Dan and he just smiled at me. I know that guys handle things differently, but a party? He leaned over the table and kissed me. "I’ve got to get back to work. Please, just think about it. We could both use a good time."

Despite myself, I did think about what he said. It seemed as though we had been thinking about nothing but having a baby for the last five years. We had been through every treatment imaginable. Our last three pregnancies had been in vitro and nothing worked. Dan was right. It was time to think about something else and if he wanted it to be a party, the least I could do was give it a try.

Dan was so excited when he got home that night and I told him the party was a go. He was even more excited when I told him the theme I came up with. The party was going to be a "wear it again" Christmas Ball. The ladies had to wear a bride’s maid dress they’d worn in the past. The more taffeta, the better! The guys just had to match their date’s attire. Our friends were going to get the biggest kick out this.

Invitations went out and our friends were replying in droves. Somehow it was decided that since I was the hostess of this bride’s maid dress party, I should dress as the bride. I thought it was a hysterical idea, but my wedding dress was in storage in Ohio. I only had a week before the party to locate a used wedding dress. I searched every thrift store in town and finally at the Goodwill in West Ashley, I hit pay dirt.

There, in the window was a wedding dress. I excitedly went in and had the clerk help me get it down. It was very close to my size and I immediately tried it on. It was beautiful. It was long and satin with a fitted waist and beaded bodice. I looked admiringly in the mirror. Not bad for almost forty and for the bargain price of $39.99, it was all mine.

As I was hanging the dress up, I noticed a white envelope pinned to the bustles of the train. I opened it and took out a note written in the small bubble letters:

God bless the wearer of this dress.

It was chosen with much love and unfortunately never worn.

May your life be filled with joy and happiness.

The note took my breath away. Who was this girl and what had happened to her? I suddenly felt guilty about buying such a special dress for a party. I decided I would wear the dress for the party and then donate it back with the note intact.

The party was a huge success. We had a great turnout, fabulous hors d’oeuvres and wine from Laura Alberts, and people danced the night away. I had to admit Dan was right. It was the first time in years I wasn’t thinking about being pregnant. However, I could not get the note from the dress out of my mind.

I had the dress dry cleaned and returned it to the Goodwill with the note. The same clerk who had previously helped me was working. "Ma’am, I don’t know if you can give me this information, but do you know how I can reach the original owner of this dress?"

"Oh, that poor little girl. I didn’t catch her name, but she told me that her fiancée was killed in Iraq."

My heart sank.

"Wait, the lady said. The girl also donated those books over there."

I went through the stack of books and quickly found the name Sarah Evans in the front cover of several books. I bought the books and headed home to locate this girl on my computer.

I nervously dialed the number I found on 411.com. A girl’s voice answered. "Hello."

"Is this Sarah Evens?"

"Yes, who’s calling?"

"My name is Kelly McCallaster. You don’t know me. I paused… but I bought your wedding dress."

I could hear the intake in her breath. "That part of my life is over and I don’t really want to discuss it with a stranger."

"Please, I know about loss and I might be able to help you. Can we meet?"

There was a long pause and then, "Can you meet me at Jestine’s at 5:00? That’s when my shift ends."

"I’ll be there. I’m somewhat tall with long brown hair and I’ll be wearing a red sweater."

"Okay." She said and hung up.

It was a cold rainy December day and traffic was a nightmare on the Perlman Bridge. I ended up arriving at the Jestine’s about fifteen minutes late. I quickly scanned the restaurant and a young girl sitting alone at a corner table gave me a faint wave. She had long blonde hair that still held some of its summer highlights and green eyes that possessed wisdom beyond her years. I smiled and she smiled back.

"Please sit down. I’m sorry that I was so short with you on the phone."

"No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I just felt like I had to contact you after I read your note. The clerk at Goodwill helped me locate your name in some of the books you donated."

"I wondered how you found me. I guess the same clerk told you that Ryan was killed in Iraq."

I shook my head. "I’m so sorry."

"Ryan was not just my fiancé, he was my best friend. We dated all through high school and got engaged on graduation day. He joined the Army the next week to pay for college, but he never made it that far.

The tears were rolling down her cheeks. I was going to work to pay for school while he was in the army and we were going to start at USC together. Now, everything has changed."

I took her hands. "Sarah, I can help you. My husband and I started a college fund for our children when we got married. You can have it!" She looked at me with a mixture of shock and confusion.

"What about your children? I could never take their college fund."

I took a deep breath. "My husband and I can’t have children." It was the first time I had said that.

Sarah squeezed my hands as tears streaked my cheeks.

"Perhaps we can help each other," she said. She stood up from the table and for the first time I realized that she was pregnant, very pregnant. "I am planning on putting my baby up for adoption, and I think that you would make a wonderful mother." My heart stopped as my mind raced with a million possibilities. We hugged and talked for hours. I called Dan to meet Sarah and everything fell into place.

Two weeks later, on December 21^st 2003, Gabriel Ryan McCallaster was born. We took him home three days later. For the first time in my life I truly understood the meaning of Christmas. And every day since, Gabe has been my Miracle on Daniel Island.